Oh woe is me, the poor college student. I want so so many things and just don't have the money for it. And I've suddenly realized that it's going to be like this for a while. I mean, it's going to take a really long time for me to make it famous and rich..if I ever do. Financial stress is such a bitch.
And I want to travel. SO. BADLY. And I can't! Because it's all so damn expensive! I had plans to go to Montreal for most of October Break and then my textbooks ended up costing almost $700. So now I'm going home. Which is fine: I love my parents, love my pets at home, can't wait to visit my friends at their state colleges, etc. But come on. I'm 20 years old. I speak French. And I should be traveling. Instead I'm getting an education so that I can make money later. So that I can travel and have fun later once I've made money. Basically, I'm just putting off living for later. I'm in the prime of my life NOW and I want to experience the world NOW.
At the same time, I'm so not ready for the real world. My parents expect me to go to grad school right after I graduate from Vassar. But I'm not going to have the pre-reqs for the programs I want. So it seems like a good idea to go to a state school part time for a semester or two and then get into a big program. Well..there's the little thing that I won't have health insurance under my parent's plan unless I'm a full time student. Shit. Can't even take time off to figure out my life! And as mature as I try to be and as ready as I am to move away from home, I'm not ready. My home is the only home I've ever known (along with Vassar). I'd love to go to grad school out in the NorthWest but will I really be ready to be on my own in less than 2 years?
Anyone else in this situation? It sucks. And then my existentialist voice in my head tells me nothing matters anyway. Sigh...
10.12.2009
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2 comments:
"putting off living for later" seems kind of silly. vassar afford a lot of opportunities that others don't have access to. possibly the difficulty is that you're not making the most of it personally.
mostly, though, you could sure as hell go "live," now. but it could seriously decrease your earning power in the future. we all have to make sacrifices.
there are people out there who will be graduating with quite a substantial bit of debt, and whose parents aren't nearly as enthusiastic about the notion of grad school after college.
i don' think you have room to complain. be appreciative of what you have!
this blog is very interesting. it's always fascinating to see the issues privileged kids deal with. if going to a no-name grad school was my biggest concern, I'd be living the good life. (i didn't mean for this comment to be snarky in any way)
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