Peace.

**WARNING: THIS POST IS LONGER THAN 300 WORDS.**

So this will be my last post as a Joss correspondent, because I am moving to a GLORIOUS apartment next year, where no one will vom on my bathroom floor (hopefully) or scream outside my window at 4 AM. It's a little bittersweet at the same time, because I'll miss being able to run up and down the halls and visit my friends whenever I want, but the benefits far outweigh the losses. So prepare yourselves for The Adventures of Littleone Off-Campus (volume one: Adventures in Cooking OR Littleone Sets the Oven on Fire).

(ESPECIALLY SINCE THE DC BAGELS ARE APPARENTLY INFESTED. Oh my GOD, I eat those every day. Including this morning. I am seriously holding back my gag reflex right now. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check Mads or the Vassar Livejournal community... unless you have a weak stomach or have recently eaten a bagel from the DC.)

Back on track, though...

This year. What can I say? I don't know where to start. It wasn't what I expected. Nothing about this school is what I expected. Which isn't to say I'm unhappy - I really do love Vassar.

I forgot that your status somewhere else doesn't automatically transfer. I was first in my class in high school, in the top level of dance in a fairly competitive program, building up a reputation in the theatre community in my city... yeah, none of that came with me to Vassar. There are a lot of people here that are a LOT smarter than me, I didn't even get into VRDT, and... well... the theatre thing went well, so I guess I'm good at something. But as I learned in high school, so too am I learning in college - if you want respect, you kind of have to work your ass off to get it. And I'm doing that. And I love it.

I will miss you all during this long, hot (I hate living in the desert) summer. If you need me, you will be able to find me drowning my sorrows at Del Taco.

littleone

The End of This Chapter

**WARNING: THIS POST IS LONGER THAN 300 WORDS.**
Ciao ciao ciao ciao a tutti!

Well, today will be short and (hopefully) sweet. I am finished with this year. I'm sad to see it go but I had my moments and now it's time for new ones, not that I'll ever forget the old. I have taken my finals, finished my essays, stored my things (I didn't realize how much stuff I had here...sad), and for the most part filled my suitcases. Friday, I am on a plane back home. I have packed up my life here and it is ready to relocate. Have a wonderful summer all of you and I'll see you next year!

P.S.- My room looks disgustingly bare and unfriendly. Oh well...

FUN(NY)SEX(Y)FACTS:

---On average, it takes two tablespoons of blood to get a man's penis erect. (Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine GO DOWN....Don't ask me where that came from, I don't know)
---The G-spot, a sensitive area located inside the vagina on the upper wall, an inch or two behind the back of the pubic bone, is named for Dr. Ernest Grafenberg. (Hahaha...wow, wouldn't I like to have something that gives so much pleasure to women /9or anyone) named after me! I think I should go invent some type of amazing vibrator or discover a body part....oooh my summer plans are piling up)
---The vagina and the eye are self-cleaning organs.
---The prophet Hosea was commanded to marry a prostitute because Israel, herself, hath committed great whoredom. (hahaha...wow. And we thought we had problems)
---The word "ejaculation" comes from the Latin word meaning "throwing out." (So when was the last time you ejaculated via intercourse or masturbation? I just had a conversation about this earlier.)
---A dragonfly's penis has a shovel on the end that scoops out a rival male's semen (I've actually seen this happen. Kinda trippy)
---The average gorilla weighing 200 pounds has a penis that is two inches long. (I love gorillas!)
---According to psychologists, the shoe and the foot are the most common sources of sexual fetishism in Western society. (Why??? I guess it could be worse....)
---Aphallatosis is a mental disorder resulting from a lack of sex life. (Well, we have a lot of people suffering from that on this campus....)

Pace ed amore,
Chipmunk

MAY DAY!

**WARNING: THIS POST IS LONGER THAN 300 WORDS.**
Ciao ciao ciao a tutti!

I hope that you all went to see "A Winter's Tale" this weekend. One of my best friends was in it and they were all amazing! They reminded me of how much I love Shakespeare and outdoor theatre.

Tonight there is an AirCappella/Devils concert in Rocky 200 at 8 PM and it will be fabulous!

So because it is May, there are these daily celebrations called May Days of 2008 series. All 31 days of May have been designated their own theme. This was initially intended to be a small event series for random facebook people and it's not official, but they figured they'd open it to the world. So, anybody may celebrate. You may do the whole series or choose specific days to participate in. HAVE FUN!

Here are the upcoming May Day themes: (and you can find these on facebook!)

5/11/08: International Condiment Day (ya...don't ask me)
5/12/08: International Powerthirst Day
5/13/08: International Smack An Ass Day
5/14/08: International ...In Bed Day
5/15/08: International Gum-Chewing Day
5/16/08: International Sexual Act Day
5/17/08: International Whipped Cream Day
5/18/08: International Photograph Your Day Day
5/19/08: International Sexican Day
5/20/08: International Sexual Innuendo Day
5/21/08: International Tickle Day
5/22/08: International Gluten-Free Day
5/23/08: International Bagel Day
5/24/08: International Videogame Marathon Day
5/25/08: International Vegetarian Day
5/26/08: International Humorous T-Shirt Day
5/27/08: International Zombie Day
5/28/08: International Spontaneous Orgasm Day
5/29/08: International Are You Nervous Day
5/30/08: International Blame It On _____ Day
5/31/08: International National Foods Day

And here are your

FUN(NY)SEX(Y)FACTS:

---According to the book Hidden Bedroom Partners: Needs and Motives That Destroy Sexual Pleasure, what your partner does after sex may have lots of hidden meanings. Immediately rolling over and going to sleep may indicate anger. Going to the bathroom may reflect feelings of guilt. (And if you cry during???)
---The typical person spends about 600 hours having sex between the ages of 20 and 70. (Jezzey Chrezzy!)
---Researchers say that condoms exposed to smog and ozone are less effective. (So scientific!)
---According to certain rabbinical interpretations, Adam had sex with animals. (I do not mean to offend anyone!)
---Erect giraffe penises are four feet long. (Ouch.....)

Pace ed amore,
Chipmunk

An Evening In Strong. Sex Included.

**WARNING: THIS POST IS LONGER THAN 300 WORDS.**
Ciao ciao ciao ciao a tutti!

So the writers' strike is over (well, for now, and hopefully they'll all be treated better) and ABC episodes are back (yay for Grey's Anatomy and Ugly Betty and House, which is actually FOX, but whatever)! Basically this period of brand new episodes is like a week long orgasm....(ok, so maybe that was going overboard a tidbit) But REALLY! On Thursday, we were packed into the Strong MPR with hormonal young men and women, and all you could here was screaming and gasping and happy giggles and....etc.

Oh yeeeeeeeeeeeees!
Ahhhhhh!
Nooooooo!
Wait!
Oh ok!
Yessss!
Auuuugh!
Ooooooooooo!
Teeheehee!
Mmmmmm!
No! Don't stop!
That's it????

Man, was it steamy in the Strong MPR with Doctor McDreamy and McSteamy and well... all the sexy Grey's characters. and don't forget those in Ugly Betty!

Basically the day of Thur ended with a giant orgy in Strong. Man can those girls show you a good time or what? ;-)

Well, I don't think this article had enough sexual references so here is the cherry on top of that big banana split....

FUN(NY)SEX(Y)FACTS:

---Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being. Maybe THAT'S why you feel so good afterwards....unless, it, well, is just plain bad.

---A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever. Wow, even more reasons to get cozy in the winter...

---The earliest known illustration of a man using a condom during sexual intercourse is painted on the wall of a cave in France. It is dated between 12,000 and 15,000 years old. See! Just because you're old doesn't mean you don't have any sense!

Go have a fun Founder's Day Weekend kiddies!
And forgive those who took the dorm room you (and possibly your roommate) wanted....

Pace ed amore,
Chip to the munk

;-)

Ouch Charlie!

**WARNING: THIS POST IS LONGER THAN 400 WORDS.**

Ciao Ciao Ciao OOOOOOOOWWWWW!

So, I hope you all are in better shape than I am because I think I just sprained my toe (I don't think it's broken...I hope) and it f*@#$%^ hurts! I am forced to limp and you all know how attractive THAT is....haha...(because, you know, I REALLY care what people think of me...---ok, I'm assuming you didn't get the sarcasm there, but it was what I was heading for..). So I'm not really sure how this happened because cuz you know, shit just happens....to me, but it all went down in ACDC. I saw someone who I don't really know very well (though I do like him as a person, for I have no reason to dislike him...he's nice). He said "Hi *insert name here*!" with a big smile and I said hi back in the same manner. Then I realized something. I absolutely LOVE it when people say "hi" to me. It's so simple (and sadly people take it for granted) but it really does make my (and I'm sure, your) day! Anyway, I got so excited that I went over to my dinner-buddy and friend, Aletheia, and told her how happy it always makes me. And being the dork I am, I was dancing around a little (in ACDC, mind you) and then put my foot down on the floor with a lot more force than anticipated and my toes just crunched. This is the point where I yell "OUUUUUUCH CHARLIE!" I limped my food over to the register, than to a table where my toes continued to throb. Once I got up again and my foot and all its ligaments stretched, I realized how badly it hurt. I limped back to RayRay. (oh ya, the stairs were a sexy fun time, let me tell ya!) Now my toes are wrapped in a cold towel which I need to re-soak. dang....

And now......drum roll please....

FUN(NY)SEX(Y)FACTS: (ya, baby, ya!)

---The first published use of the word 'condum' was in a 1706 poem. (I wonder who invented the word....)
---It has also been suggested that Condom was a doctor in the time of Charles II. It is believed that he invented the device to help the king to prevent the birth of more illegitimate children. (oh...i guess that answers my previous question...haha)
---There are approximately 100 million acts of sexual intercourse each day. (ONLY?! Come on guys and girls! Try HARDER)

Pace ed amore,
Chipmunk

P.S.- Hope you had a fun 4/20!
P.P.S.- why are the bees stalking the dorm windows????

One Voice

**WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS MORE THAN 300 WORDS.**

I've done a lot of performing in my life. I've been part of a fair few ensembles that adored each other and I have even helped make an audience cry once or twice. I'm no stranger to invoking deep emotion or to being swept away by the passion of a performance.

But never before have I experienced something like I did as a cast member of Bare.

After auditions, I was just excited to be in a show. I hadn't done anything since last June, and I was dying for the stage (anyone who's been on one can tell you that it's addictive). I was looking forward to challenging my vocal range and making a few new friends.

Little did I know what it would turn into... somehow, I found myself wrapped up in a group of incredible people who were as unabashedly eager about art and expression as I am. A group of people who reminded me that I am talented, and I am a product of hard work -- and that talent and hard work can produce nothing without an ensemble effort. I can't express how thankful I am to have these people in my life. They saved me from myself.

Nothing can top this weekend's four performances. Nothing. I couldn't hold myself together at the end of the show -- all I could think of was that this happens. Thoughtless discrimination happens, and I could see it reflected in the tears of our pianist, of the boy sitting in the front row, of my fellow cast members, all of whom have been victimized before just because they're different in such an unimportant way.

I hope that everyone who came to see the show got something out of it, whether you liked it or not. Please -- remember that people can be hurt by your words, and sometimes even more so by your silence.

"Jesus knows what's up."
littleone

p.s. also, PRACTICE SAFE SEX, and make sure that you aren't unknowingly eating pot brownies, and maaaybe avoid raves.

My Prospie

**WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS MORE THAN 400 WORDS.**

Bummer,
I’m on probation until at least the end of the year. Security says that I’ve accumulated more noise complaints (along with a couple of alcohol violations) than the rest of the campus combined. Its not that I’m unruly; my living habits are far from disruptive. It’s just that the local house fellows are far less tolerant than one would expect of professors at a liberal arts college.

I signed up to be a host of one of the focus students this weekend. I registered early, arrived promptly and assumed all would go smoothly. After all, I’m a decent student, fairly relaxed and also pretty outgoing; I’d make a good host; I am a great, positive, glowing person. After the sign in and the pizza dinner with hosts and focus kids, the pairing process began. The hosts’ names would be called, in alphabetical order, and they would proceed out the door with their new soon to be friend. It was exciting; a chance to share with another all that I had learned in the past year; a chance for someone to adore me; a drinking buddy at the very least. Adams, Bryant, Clifton, my heart began to pound. Houston, I grit my teeth and clenched my hands. Martin, my eyes rolled back, my subconscious screaming with desire. Peters… my heart dropped.

“There must be some mistake,” I thought. “Maybe my prospie isn’t here yet. Perhaps they’re just saving the best for last.” The pairings finished. I remained entirely alone with 4 other unpaired hosts (a hobo, a junkie, a dwarf and a giraffe) a few stragglers, and the staff of the event. The smoke cleared. With a flushed face and a soul hungry for fiery vengeance, I raced up to the administrative table slammed both fists on the table, and screamed “Liars, filthy blood-sucking vagrants. Where is my friend?” Four overseers smirked down at me. The first three cackled out bellows of laughs. The forth leaned forward and spat.

… I was waitlisted… I was belittled, embarrassed, humiliated. Tears ran down my cheek. I fainted, awoken several hours later in the center of the quad by frolicking of a caliber of which I have never seen before; host and child rejoicing as one. Harmony wisped in the air. The dog was a happy mask. But I, your intrepid protagonist, sat lonely in the corner, taken aback by sadness I wandered in the shadows. The dog barked longingly and no one responded.

It occurred to me the next day that the man had probably screwed me over. I was placed on the waiting list because of my probation. It has to be. Black listed, stricken from community service at my very college. I could have handled ‘400 BABIES!’ but they wouldn’t even give me one. The kibble bowl was empty.

With love,
Barky (aka white chocolate)
Happy 4/20

Wear Sunscreen

**WARNING: THIS POST IS LONGER THAN 500 WORDS.**

Ciao ciao ciao a tutti!

I hope you all are enjoying the wonderful weather! I think it is actually hotter here than it is at my home in California, and that's saying a LOT because I basically live on a beach.... and the weather is basically like this 99% of the time.

With all this weather and the thoughts of summer nearing, as I was basking in the sun with close friends, I started thinking about my past. Life has not been easy for me, and in many ways I am thankful for that because if things were handed to me on a silver platter I would be very bored (and probably getting into trouble like Miss Hilton just to make my life...I don't know, fun?).

I started thinking about the 90s and how great music was born into that decade and the music from the 80s, 70s, 60s, 50s, etc still played on my radio. On beautiful days like this in the summer of '99, I rocked gently back and forth in my hammock, which was incredibly old and brought from Mexico when my dad crossed the border, that was hung up on one end by part of my house and on the other by my huge Mexican Lime tree. Rocking, rocking, rocking as I fell the warm sun and the cool breeze kiss my face, I listened to music, music on my radio.

I have yet to find a radio station that plays music as great as this one. It played a wide variety of music from oldies to the now. I LOVED IT. One "song" that I particularly enjoyed was Baz Luhrmann's "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)" because every single time I heard it, I would cry (and still do). Call me emotional, but every song has a meaning and when it sparks some emotion, I am not afraid to hide it. Music is a gateway to the soul. This song always reminds me of some of the things that are truly important in my life, things that I admit I tend to ignore and forget about from time to time. This offers beautiful tips and leads me to intense realities. "Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good."

Oh my god, we as young adults, teenagers, kids, babies sometimes to not understand this harsh truth that our parents and friends are only with us for a limited time. And we our not taking enough advantage of the time we have on this Earth, with these people we LOVE. We spend too much time being angry and taking it out on people, our loved ones, who sometimes don't even deserve it. I rarely yell at my parents anymore because I can't bare to think of the possibility that the last time I talk to them would be in anger. I do not say "I love you" enough to my parents. Many of us have this flaw. Now I ask of you, my readers, my friends, my loved ones, go take this advise that is offered in this song. And if you only do one of those things, let it be that you call your parents, guardians, family, and friends....and tell them you love them.

Pace ed amore,
Chipmunk

P.S.- I love you.

Big Changes Coming to the DC Next Year

**WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS MORE THAN 300 WORDS**

As you may have heard, Aramark had their contract renewed for food service at Vassar. That doesn't mean that there won't be any changes, though.

According to an article from the Misc:

"Local sources currently provide about 30 percent of Vassar’s food, and Aramark’s contract proposal indicates that they will bring that number up to 40 percent within the next five years."

"Trays will also be eliminated from the All Campus Dining Center (ACDC), if not by Fall 2008 then by Fall 2009."

"Next year, students will have two methods of purchasing food: They will have “all you care to eat” meals in ACDC, but will have declining balance points for use in à la cart locations, including the Retreat, the Atrium, Java City and the Kiosk. Students will also be able to use meals to purchase express lunches."

"Renovations will be necessary in order to facilitate the “all you care to eat” meal system. When entering ACDC, students will swipe only once, and will then be able to get as much food as they desire. “Students can even sit down, then decide they’re still hungry, and go and get seconds,” Warners explained.

The style of service will also change dramatically. The beverage areas on both sides of ACDC will be moved into the seating area, and more service stations will be installed in their place. “Because there will be more stations, lines will be shorter,” said Silver. Additionally, all of the menus will be expanded over the summer with more options.

The College plans to invest about $250,000 into initial renovations scheduled to be completed by Fall 2008 and will add dramatic interior changes to style and layout over the following summer, to be completed by Fall 2009."

The article also notes that there will be an open forum for discussion on April 23 with Aramark.

Personally, I think all this is exciting!! These changes make it look as if Aramark really does care about the students' well-being, contrary to consensus (e.g., the flyers EVERYWERE) last semester.
SPRiNKLES

Two Doors and Candy Apple Walls

**WARNING: THIS POST CLOCKS IN AT MORE THAN 400 WORDS.**
(For the record, the Blog9 Admin thinks that this is a BEAUTIFUL post.)

We checked out the apartment yesterday. It borders the graveyard on the opposite side of Noyes, with an entrance through two doors leading back to back and opening onto each other in opposite directions. Then there is a narrow staircase up into three small bedrooms, a living room, and a tiny kitchen with a balcony. My room is light blue and looks over the playground. It's rockin'.

This whole living off-campus thing was a decision that required about as much deliberation as two people who are mutually attracted to each other partake in when locked up together in a dark closet, naked, and with a bottle of Bacardi: it just kind of happened. I had my heart dead set on becoming a student fellow; then I didn't get it. Instead I got the blue bedroom, and maybe a pair of Lovebirds to keep me company. Not to mention two incredible roommates to share it all with. (And cable. Baaaaaaller.)

And I'm thinking, it's funny how things work out so well. Most of my life ends up being this high-speed emotional Rollerblade chase involving laser beams and highly flammable slinkies being thrown all over the place, terrifying innocent bystanders. I stay up in the dark, staring at the piping along the walls, wondering whether or not the water is carrying me down the right stream. Because don't we all want to end up somewhere safe, to wake up in the places our minds have visited, places we think we know well? And then I remember that the beauty of living is tied up with this tendency of everything to strive towards certain balance. Think about it: we exist solely because of this motion of things towards equilibrium. It is in our very cells, it is a part of every process necessary for our survival, it is what allows us to exist as individual beings separate from our environment. It is so important. And I believe this osmosis of sorts happens on a greater scale as well, involving me, and you, and everything within and without us. I believe that when something doesn't work out the way we planned, it is just a sign that there is something else out there for us, something good that we're missing. And because of this selective permeability of life, I really do think we should be taking it easy, that we should not be thinking too far ahead, that we should learn to take things as they come and go. So get low with the flow if you know what's good for you. Take a breath. Take a break. Take your time.

I'm yours,
Rad