Hey Single Ladies...

This is a real personal from Craigslist... (emphasis added by spire)
N.B.: This is much more hilarious when read out loud with friends.

Local 30s Vassar grad seeks cool Vassar gal (Poughkeepsie)

I am an active, well spoken, single Vassar alumn in my 30s, my degree is in Psych. I am 5-9, on the muscular side, Irish/English and Spanish/Asian, dark hair, white complexion, slightly exotic looking. I dress in casual or sporty un-ostentious clothes, cargoes and trailrunners, that sort of thing. 

I enjoy going to the gym, martial arts, holistic health, reading, “classic” movies and music of the 70-90s, games, local pubs, and socializing with interesting considerate attractive people who have a clue. My personality is confident, casual, quiet but occasionally outgoing if I like you. I try to be an intense person with some depth and substance to me. I would say I am an idea person, I enjoy theories, but have pretty decent physical and social sides too. I don’t drink or use any drugs personally but I’m not overly judgmental about them.

Mainly what I have to offer is being an interesting, understanding, unconventional, reliable casual yet intense guy with a nicely functional brain.