I have literally been ranting about the toothbrush thieves since I discovered that ALL THREE of my toothbrushes (yes, I have three, shut up) had been stolen at 8 AM. I'm not happy at ALL. For one thing, I'm completely obsessive-compulsive about oral hygiene and it was gross to have to go to my 9 AM with unbrushed teeth. For another, that's seven dollars - an hour of work for me at home! I want my seven dollars back. In fact, since they took three of them, I want $21.
And honestly? It was just the straw that broke the camel's back this morning. Almost fell apart crying in the bathroom. All because of a freaking lost toothbrush (or three). Okay, and maybe it was partly because I don't really have time to breathe right now, but that's why this was such an obnoxious, unnecessary prank. You can't just take EVERYONE'S shit. You don't know who can't afford to buy a new toothbrush right now, or who is so stressed that even losing their toothbrush might make them freak out.
HMPH. I HATE APRIL FOOLS.
NO xx
littleone
Showing posts with label April Fool's Day 08. Show all posts
Showing posts with label April Fool's Day 08. Show all posts
4.01.2008
APRIL FOOLS, FOO'!
Haha the toothbrush thing was so funny.
The shower curtain thing, however, was not. YO don't mess wit mah cleanliness, son.
I didn't fool anyone with anything. It's ok. I have an excuse cuz my leg fell off during ballet. APRIL FOOL'S, FOO'!
Uh, let's see...Luis was at the UpC last night. I watched him from behind a couch. He ordered something with Splenda in it. haha
Hey guys, I'm pregnant with a vaginal Luis baby. APRIL FOOL'S!
I wish.
Well that's borderline creepy. I don't actually mean that. You know what's a funny joke? My vegetarian friend and I got a bunch of soy fried chicken once from the vegan station, and then found out it wasn't soy! haha to your digestive system and conscience!
This is a true story.
My friends just pranked me, it was hilarious and embarrassing. I won't go into details, but it involved me being trapped in my doorway, holding an egg between my fingers. I was saved by a friend.
Please, prank responsibly.
no, be the most perverse prankster you can be.
CJDC
The shower curtain thing, however, was not. YO don't mess wit mah cleanliness, son.
I didn't fool anyone with anything. It's ok. I have an excuse cuz my leg fell off during ballet. APRIL FOOL'S, FOO'!
Uh, let's see...Luis was at the UpC last night. I watched him from behind a couch. He ordered something with Splenda in it. haha
Hey guys, I'm pregnant with a vaginal Luis baby. APRIL FOOL'S!
I wish.
Well that's borderline creepy. I don't actually mean that. You know what's a funny joke? My vegetarian friend and I got a bunch of soy fried chicken once from the vegan station, and then found out it wasn't soy! haha to your digestive system and conscience!
This is a true story.
My friends just pranked me, it was hilarious and embarrassing. I won't go into details, but it involved me being trapped in my doorway, holding an egg between my fingers. I was saved by a friend.
Please, prank responsibly.
no, be the most perverse prankster you can be.
CJDC
Time to Call It a Day
And what a day it's been!
If you haven't realized it by now, all posts made today, despite "evidence" to the contrary, are completely untrue! APRIL FOOL'S!
Thank (most of) you for bearing with us! All posts after this post will be 100% genuine! Have a lovely evening!
~The Blog9 Team
If you haven't realized it by now, all posts made today, despite "evidence" to the contrary, are completely untrue! APRIL FOOL'S!
Thank (most of) you for bearing with us! All posts after this post will be 100% genuine! Have a lovely evening!
~The Blog9 Team
Tea With Britney
Blog9 has been able to get in touch with Britney through her manager, and she had this to say about her new professorship at Vassar:
“When they called me about this job, I was just like whatever, I’m already teaching cute little kids where I live in California… why would I want to fly out to Pough-whatsitsface to teach whiny little rich kids? And that’s when I was told that my favorite actress of all time, MERYL STREEP, graduated from here! And I was like NO WAY! And they were like YES WAY! And I was like NO WAY! And they were like YES WAY! And I was like NO WAY!... You get the idea. So I was totally in. And then they offered me like $30,000 a year and I was like psh. Please, I’m worth like a zillion dollars, GIMME GIMME MORE! And I busted out my pole and did some amazing moves, like in that awesome music video I released a few months ago, you know, the one where I’m almost topless? No, not the sex tape. The music video WITH THE POLE and ripped nets! And so they offered me $31,000 and I was like SOLD! I mean, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do when she only gets to spend $1500 a week!”
“When they called me about this job, I was just like whatever, I’m already teaching cute little kids where I live in California… why would I want to fly out to Pough-whatsitsface to teach whiny little rich kids? And that’s when I was told that my favorite actress of all time, MERYL STREEP, graduated from here! And I was like NO WAY! And they were like YES WAY! And I was like NO WAY! And they were like YES WAY! And I was like NO WAY!... You get the idea. So I was totally in. And then they offered me like $30,000 a year and I was like psh. Please, I’m worth like a zillion dollars, GIMME GIMME MORE! And I busted out my pole and did some amazing moves, like in that awesome music video I released a few months ago, you know, the one where I’m almost topless? No, not the sex tape. The music video WITH THE POLE and ripped nets! And so they offered me $31,000 and I was like SOLD! I mean, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do when she only gets to spend $1500 a week!”
| SPRiNKLES’s Take: Indeed. |
KANYE WEST to Star at Convocation!
After much wait and speculation over mainstream artists coming to Vassar, sources report that Kanye West is in the works to perform for Baccalaureate this year (May 25th)... with a price!
"This has been a work in progress since September 2007, and after months of emailing and receiving no responses, his representatives have confirmed that he will be able to. I'm afraid though, that as he is a world famous hip-hop artist and producer, we will have to limit the crowd to 400 Vassar students and 200 outside guests... Initial ticket prices for Vassar students have been capped at $54 and $80 for outside guests, so we are hoping that we can somehow work out a deal to lower the prices," according to our behind the scenes crews in various VSA groups helping to support the event.
$54?!?! And a two-hour trip back up to Poughkeepsie!??! I'm up for it! I'm saving my money definitely!
After spreading the word to a few friends, I've been hearing:
"Finally! Someone I know and their music I can actually understand!"
and
"I can't believe Vassar is going all out!"
It is also important to note that NO OFFICIAL WORD has been sent out... YET. But by the looks of it, dreams may become reality! Let's just hope things don't change and they decide to restrict the event to Seniors :(
Luvs and hugs,
Dyamond Phillips
"This has been a work in progress since September 2007, and after months of emailing and receiving no responses, his representatives have confirmed that he will be able to. I'm afraid though, that as he is a world famous hip-hop artist and producer, we will have to limit the crowd to 400 Vassar students and 200 outside guests... Initial ticket prices for Vassar students have been capped at $54 and $80 for outside guests, so we are hoping that we can somehow work out a deal to lower the prices," according to our behind the scenes crews in various VSA groups helping to support the event.
$54?!?! And a two-hour trip back up to Poughkeepsie!??! I'm up for it! I'm saving my money definitely!
After spreading the word to a few friends, I've been hearing:
"Finally! Someone I know and their music I can actually understand!"
and
"I can't believe Vassar is going all out!"
It is also important to note that NO OFFICIAL WORD has been sent out... YET. But by the looks of it, dreams may become reality! Let's just hope things don't change and they decide to restrict the event to Seniors :(
Luvs and hugs,
Dyamond Phillips
Dorms!
Big news!!I just heard got the scoop from one of my friends who is involved with housing...
Davison is no longer going to be shut down! Instead, they will be doing the messy work over the summer and then finishing surface work and bathroom and hallway renovations during the year.
This obviously clears up all of the housing worries--every sophomore will have a single who wants one, and suite draw will obviously be much less crowded.
Amazing, right?
So happy right now. :)
-aRCHEL
Toothbrush Famine Hits Campus
Toothbrushes have gone missing all across campus, and the results have been felt instantly. Weather.com reports that the muggy feeling in the air is not humidity, but rather the collective stench of thousands of students with bad breath.
Meanwhile, theories run rampant as to what exactly happened to the toothbrushes:
According to high-ranking scientific mind George W. Bush:
"We've been warned about it, but we didn't listen. We didn't believe that the bird flu would be able to mutate this fast, and now the toothbrushes have suffered. The loss of toothbrushes is a heavy blow to our nation, but WE WILL NOT COWER in the face of such CHINESE TERRORISM. At 10:00 a.m. this morning, I signed an executive order for Operation Brush and Awe, a swift nucular campaign against the Chinese evildoers."
A local Catholic priest has another theory:
"God is punishing us for our evil acts! By taking our toothbrushes so suddenly and so soon, the impact of the loss is shocking, and will cause many to convert to Catholicism, in the hope of one day seeing their toothbrushes again in the next life! REPENT!"
According to Hillary Clinton:
"OBAMA DID IT!"
According to Barack Obama:
"I believe in a nation that will one day have toothbrushes of every color of the rainbow to wipe the plaque off their teeth every morning. This is not their presidency; this is OUR presidency. It's time for a change! It's time for toothbrushes! We will live in a nation where toothbrushes can thrive once more peacefully without fear of persecution! YES WE CAN!"
According to a mysterious ransom note left on the cubby of a freshman:
"giVE uS teN THoUSanD dOLlArs oR yoU'Ll neVEr seE youR TooTHBruSH aGAin."
Said freshman proceeded to buy a new toothbrush from the bookstore for $1.39.
According to an upperclassman:
"Dude, you guyz are laaame! This happens EVERY FREAKING YEAR, and your student fellows didn't even tell you about it! HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA! FRESHMEN SUCK!"
Whatever the reason for it, bad breath will plague campus for the next day. Please remember to carry gas masks around with you.
SPRiNKLES
Meanwhile, theories run rampant as to what exactly happened to the toothbrushes:
According to high-ranking scientific mind George W. Bush:
"We've been warned about it, but we didn't listen. We didn't believe that the bird flu would be able to mutate this fast, and now the toothbrushes have suffered. The loss of toothbrushes is a heavy blow to our nation, but WE WILL NOT COWER in the face of such CHINESE TERRORISM. At 10:00 a.m. this morning, I signed an executive order for Operation Brush and Awe, a swift nucular campaign against the Chinese evildoers."
A local Catholic priest has another theory:
"God is punishing us for our evil acts! By taking our toothbrushes so suddenly and so soon, the impact of the loss is shocking, and will cause many to convert to Catholicism, in the hope of one day seeing their toothbrushes again in the next life! REPENT!"
According to Hillary Clinton:
"OBAMA DID IT!"
According to Barack Obama:
"I believe in a nation that will one day have toothbrushes of every color of the rainbow to wipe the plaque off their teeth every morning. This is not their presidency; this is OUR presidency. It's time for a change! It's time for toothbrushes! We will live in a nation where toothbrushes can thrive once more peacefully without fear of persecution! YES WE CAN!"
According to a mysterious ransom note left on the cubby of a freshman:
"giVE uS teN THoUSanD dOLlArs oR yoU'Ll neVEr seE youR TooTHBruSH aGAin."
Said freshman proceeded to buy a new toothbrush from the bookstore for $1.39.
According to an upperclassman:
"Dude, you guyz are laaame! This happens EVERY FREAKING YEAR, and your student fellows didn't even tell you about it! HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA! FRESHMEN SUCK!"
Whatever the reason for it, bad breath will plague campus for the next day. Please remember to carry gas masks around with you.
SPRiNKLES
NEW DANCE PROFESSOR HIRED
As you may have heard, a position recently opened up in the dance department for a new professor of dance.
It is my pleasure to announce that that position has recently been filled, according to several infallible independent sources. Blog9 has verified their accuracy with those in high-tier administrative positions (aka those in the know), and has been given permission to reveal to you exclusively the name of this person.
Britney Spears.
According to those on the panel to search for the new dance professor, Britney was the only logical choice:
"Through her dance moves, Britney communicates messages and feelings powerfully, boldly and convincingly. She has a special gift for energizing, empowering and inspiring the person experiencing her art, so that this person feels involved in the artistic process. Britney's performances are thrilling invitations to a shared emotion, and you can feel her personality immediately next to you with all its multi-layered charm and sophisticated sweetness. We wanted to bring this vibe to the dance program at Vassar, and we are thrilled that Ms. Spears and especially her father, Jamie, are so enthusiastic about this."
Britney will begin teaching in the upcoming fall semester, and will offer at least four sections of classes. Two classes already confirmed are Chair Dancing 101 and Belly Dancing 401 (for advanced dancers only).
It is my pleasure to announce that that position has recently been filled, according to several infallible independent sources. Blog9 has verified their accuracy with those in high-tier administrative positions (aka those in the know), and has been given permission to reveal to you exclusively the name of this person.
Britney Spears.
According to those on the panel to search for the new dance professor, Britney was the only logical choice:
"Through her dance moves, Britney communicates messages and feelings powerfully, boldly and convincingly. She has a special gift for energizing, empowering and inspiring the person experiencing her art, so that this person feels involved in the artistic process. Britney's performances are thrilling invitations to a shared emotion, and you can feel her personality immediately next to you with all its multi-layered charm and sophisticated sweetness. We wanted to bring this vibe to the dance program at Vassar, and we are thrilled that Ms. Spears and especially her father, Jamie, are so enthusiastic about this."
Britney will begin teaching in the upcoming fall semester, and will offer at least four sections of classes. Two classes already confirmed are Chair Dancing 101 and Belly Dancing 401 (for advanced dancers only).
| SPRiNKLES’s Take: OH NO THEY DIDN’T!!! I am ridiculously out of shape, but I’m hitting the gym tomorrow – her class on chair dancing is gonna be the first one on my pre-registration form! |
Trogdor Strikes in the... Day?
Last night I decided to wake up early this morning so that I would have ample time to do some reading before class. I took a shower, got dressed, and headed to ACDC with my work. Okay, so nothing unusual about that. At approximately 8:30 am I arrive at said eating establishment and to what should my wondrous eyes should appear, why 2ninjas and a Trogdor be-suited man. I laugh to my self, but I decide it's too early to consider why there are ninjas and a cartoon dragon on campus. However, as I climb the steps of ACDC, I see from the corner of my eye that they're following me. I cautiously open the door and slip inside. I grab some yummy bacon and scrambled eggs, and go to pay. I start walking through the entry way to the salad bar when Trogdor smashes my tray from my hands, while simultaneously, one of the ninjas kick out my knees from behind and I hit the ground soon after my food. (If you're curious the other ninja must have been snickering, because there was no one else around). When I stand up a few moments later, the ninjas and Trogdor are gone. I look down and on my tray I see: "Traygor strike in the night."
-Poseidon
-Poseidon
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