No Complainin' Here

OK, everybody. Ya don't need to hear me complain about finals, so here's the best thing I've seen (about 20 times) all week:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=_fSpI4oZoDc

It's a music video for an amazing Indian song, with fake english subtitles. I like the song itself and the guy is fuckin adorable, but if you go in expecting the english subtitles to be stupid,like I did, you're in for a pleasant surprise, as I was.

I want to be in Bollywood (not that this is).

strange and chunky. What is going on with our showers? There's been much hubbub in our bathrooms lately. When do y'all go home? I don't want to.

wow! Primal Scream was grrrrreat! I love to scream and yes, I'm bragging, but I have the best screams ever screamed in all...man, that's a strange word. Think of it. "scrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeam"..it just sounds shrill and abrasive. Like my loud sound. Goodbye, folks. Have good summers and like....don't get pregnant, catch diseases, discover your parent' hidden life as a gangster, be dumped by your significant other of five years, have your pet die, or eat fast food over the vacation. But do, however, white-water raft and dance and sing a lot. That's all you need in life to make you happy. If you feel like shit, dance and sing. and exercise. then drink yourself into a sad little bubble and sleep on it. and wear more pink and green together.

CJDC

Buzzing

Ah, Founder's Day stories...I was kind of depressed (cuz of weather, I have to admit) and tired in the throughout most of the day...then I took a half hour nap and GOT CRUNK. Um....everything was funny....I went to sleep...the end. But, my, those chili veggie burgers were grrreat. I told people I'd miss them next year...told one guy I never talk to I was sorry for using his water boiler without permission (it's right there in the kitchen! It's so convenient I have to take advantage. And it helped me progress through the days of putting my mug of cold, tea-bagged water in the microwave). Haha I love it. You know what I also love? Feet. Fucking love those things. I thought of putting up a picture of mine, but decided to save something for the imagination.

Everybody must get buzzed.
CJDC

Waste Two Seconds of Your Life INSTANTLY!

Well, I have nothing to say. So read if you have nothing to do but feel like...wasting two seconds of your life. Just know, you will never get them back.

O, the weather! Compared to last week, this is downright depressing, and I feel slightly depressed. Not sad, just like my body is slow and more still. My muscles are not happy. Be careful with the caffeine. Especially coffee. Yes, I love you, but you interrogate my GI tract. It feels a bit abused.

Listening to Lightnin' Hopkins on a rainy day all day and doing this shitting paper and lazing around...it's the best to hope for on a day such as this. Sorry for being Debbie Downer, eh!?

Um...the candidate debates should be cool. Smoothies are nice. Hoorah for intramural soccer. WOOOOAAAH Mistuh Chahlie yo rollin mill is buinin down

Wait! I do have something interesting. Bonobo chimps. That's right, folks, everybody's favourite longer legged, incestuous, and freaky deaky human relative! Behold:

Getting "Lost"

yo WHAT WHAT it's Noyes' 50th tomorrow, baby! Iss gon' get MAD crunk! I'm wicked excited for Dido and Anaeas....how I love opera. oh dude fucking Lost is back! yes!

As much as I like Lost (I think it's one of the most interesting pieces of only mild-crap on tv) I really can't stand Kate's character. She's prominent on the show because she serves as the sex symbol.("dude lets give the hot sassy chick a gun and like, a love triangle and stuff") Sometimes, the only thing she does on the show is look up at Jack, bite her lip/ tilt her head/ flip her hair provocatively. It was so funny last night, it was ridiculous; the opening scene to the show was her crouching on the beach, hair waving. She pulls down her tank top strap...for no fucking reason. I think she's going to take a nudey dip or nurse a sexy scratch on her soft (armpit hair-free)sculpted shoulder or that the writers would provide at least a flimsy excuse for the action...but she like, rubs her shoulder or something and looks up at Jack and smiles sexily and Jack smiles back. I don't get it. What was the point of her pulling down her strap? It was such a blatant almost exploitation of "the hot one" that it was almost uncharacteristic of Lost. Fuck media. I mean, I'll still watch it but it will continue to disappoint me.

CJDC

Wahtahmehlon

I forgot to mention-after the comedy show with John Mulaney last night, I was at UpC and I talked to him...I won't divulge details so as to not give away my semi-anonymity, but he was nice.

Everyone go to Julie's Restaurant cuz those people rock and give you free cookies when they're closing and you ask if they have a dessert menu.

To the Bees of the world: get the fuck out of my room. Please go kill yourself away from me. Stop making me cry.

I can't wait for the Sugarhill Gang. With such dope beats and stoopit fresh lyrics as "now what you hear is not a test--I'm rappin to the beat", and "see I am Wonder Mike and I like to say hello", no wonder they spawned one of the biggest music cultures in the home of the free. However, I have found one disturbing line in their smash hit, "Rapper's Delight": "say if your girl starts actin up, then you take her friend". The birth of all misogyny in hippity-hop today, folks? To quote my friend, "This is where we get "Tip Drill"'s from". An innocent lyric? I think not.

Eat some watermelon.
CJDC

[[no subject]]

I fucking hate financial aid forms. And I am so scared of bees! Why no KRS-1?
But it's such a beautiful day. A little too sunny for me, but that means I can wear my disgustingly huge sunglasses without seeming like a freak to people. I don't worry about that anyway but sometimes it's good to feel completely comfortable. Earth Day and Jew food rock.
OMFG SUGARHILL GANG

CJDC

"OH MY GOD YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!"

Well I bet this is the millionth MIA story you've heard/read thus far, but I will make mine short and sweet.

My friend and I got there an hour in advance and were behind Meryl Streep's daughter and posse, and then Luis showed up and he's hilarious. Finally we get in and DJ Million Dolla Mano is ok for about 10 minutes, then I am bored for two hours.

Then, Dear Sweet Jesus, She shows up. I get so excited I nearly die. Here's the video somewhere, that's me screaming "OH MY GOD YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL". I was at the very very front, but then was violently and alarmingly pushed around like a rag doll (one girl got her foot killed by the barricade things and had to get three stitches). Then I went to the side and am SUPER jealous of people who got on stage.

Dude, who was the girl with MIA at the beginning, with the Jamaican accent? It wasn't Rye Rye but this woman was soooo cool.

It was the most intense experience of my life. The next day I felt like I had an MIA hangover. I love her.

CJDC

Vid:

goshDARN

I say goshDARN this weather is nice. I don't like heat, humidity, or much sun, but this is just right. I wish there were to be another Traveling Gypsy Market in the college center, though I never buy their wares. I remember the days, though, when the masseuses came with them...nice... I wish I had a didgeridoo.

And wtf was up with all the little kids in the CC today? Ew...all hormones, body odor, and awkward.

I wish I was Gwen Broude. how adorable. Like a little shrew, and shrewd.

CJDC

Randommmm

Today as I was walking around campus I saw a woman and a WITTO GIWL who was SO CUTE my heart bunched up and squeezed itself and spread fat warm drops of love throughout my chest. I LOVE BEHBEHS

But once they get past age 3, nah-ah. Jumping excitable snots.

And if I really wanted to be creepy, I'd tell you about how Luis was at the Retreat being fabulous with two other people. But I won't. I also won't tell you that he was sitting at the second table directly to the left of the path in the middle of tables.

Let's go to Morocco. On the Marrakesh Express.

The weather is so nice. Relax and be happy.
CJDC

A Very Sexy Weekend

So Fri night was the INC, which my friends and I went to. It was cool. I liked the DJ in the Dominican Mug, and u kno how we Dominicanas do, meng. I must represent. I saw Luis dancing on a high chair. He was like the brightest star in the pretty pretty sky.

Afterwards I had a photo shoot wherein I photographed my friend for Squirm. It was at times soapy, others cold, and strategically lit. Who knew the back of Kenyon has lighting perfect for nude bodies? We're proud. Look for those bad boys next year.
CHEEEAAA BIZZOOOOIIII.

Sometimes, the weekend is too short. Here's a quote from the Fred Basset comic strip quoting Samuel Butler: " All animals except man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it" YES it's true. Possibly, arguably, true.

CJDC

APRIL FOOLS, FOO'!

Haha the toothbrush thing was so funny.

The shower curtain thing, however, was not. YO don't mess wit mah cleanliness, son.

I didn't fool anyone with anything. It's ok. I have an excuse cuz my leg fell off during ballet. APRIL FOOL'S, FOO'!

Uh, let's see...Luis was at the UpC last night. I watched him from behind a couch. He ordered something with Splenda in it. haha

Hey guys, I'm pregnant with a vaginal Luis baby. APRIL FOOL'S!
I wish.

Well that's borderline creepy. I don't actually mean that. You know what's a funny joke? My vegetarian friend and I got a bunch of soy fried chicken once from the vegan station, and then found out it wasn't soy! haha to your digestive system and conscience!
This is a true story.

My friends just pranked me, it was hilarious and embarrassing. I won't go into details, but it involved me being trapped in my doorway, holding an egg between my fingers. I was saved by a friend.

Please, prank responsibly.
no, be the most perverse prankster you can be.
CJDC

Yogurt

ow.

So, the weather is nice; relaxing. I went to the Bharatanatyam workshop last night and it was maaaad cool. I want to be Indian.

I want to go to the drag pageant thing that Luis and Phillipe are doing cuz they're COOL, but I think I'll go to the Bharatanatyam performance instead, cuz I want to culture myself like yogurt.
eggghhh...bleah

CJDC

I Was Almost Abducted

Hey buddies. I have a good reason for not posting last week. But let me say first: I love the X-Files and the new movie is going to be ...SEEN BY ME, if not thrilling.

So, like, last week I was sitting downstairs in my house alone, the clock about to strike midnight. I'm playing solitaire and singing to the Allman Bros Band, when I heard the absolute oddest thing from the room behind me. Have you ever put two cellphones on speakerphone, had one call the other, and heard the weird bat-like echoey noises that crescendo into a shrieky...banshee-like sound? Yeah, well that's what I heard, and really effing loudly coming from the closet. I looked for any electronic devices that might have been making the sound but there was absolutely nothing. I was kind of weirded out so I called Daddy, who came down just in time to catch the last of the noise, but he was like, "ooh it'th jutht batth" and I was like, "did you NOT hear the unearthly screams?"....

So then he went back upstairs and someone knocked on the window next to the porch 3 or 4 times, then my alarm system notified me that someone was fiddling with the upstairs door, which you can only access from that very porch by climbing some stairs. SO i called my dad and told him to quickly check the door and make sure no one was being raped, as the bedrooms are upstairs but it took him like 5 minutes to be convinced I wasn't kidding around. "Dad, someone's terrorizing me!" I felt like Rosemary when no one believed her something was wrong with what turned out to be the spawn of Satan creating havoc in her womb.

Then the demonic noises start again, this time with a bark and a deep, like, moan/laugh/neither added to the mess. It sounded like the soundtrack to a house of horrors, really it did. Daddy said no one was upstairs and he and mom came downstairs and were freaked out by the sound, wouldn't go in the room. Dad saw someone moving near our house, checked outside perimeter (the well-lit perimeter, that is) and saw nothing. My mom said she had seen lights in her bedroom earlier, around midnight.

Then the internet wouldn't work.

So, like, I've decided that although I'd be a wonderful medium for a poltergeist, it sounds more like aliens to me.

To whatever alien pranked my house so elaborately, go probe yourself with a stick of dynamite and blow yourself back to where you came from. Don't you know aliens are ILLEGAL here?

Ciao, bellas. and..bellos? P.S. did anyone see Lost?! Uh, I love Sayid.

Already Bored With Break

Travelling sucks balls. I won't bore you with my story, but I wasted a ton of money and was delayed nearly 48 hours total. My shenanigans involved illegally staying in Noyes an extra night with a friend I was lucky to know was there. DAMN ALL BUSES.

I'm eating chocolate at 12:30 in the morn. I'm not PMSing or anything, it's just what I do when I'm home. I am constantly bored here so I get fat. crap. I'm just a fat bored monster. ha, I kid. Does anyone else think we have too much freaking vacation time?

I hope all your breaks are going at least relaxedly, if not kick-ass Chuck Norris style. I'm hoping to go to "10,000 B.C." to see some amazing laughable action with my friends and make fun of it the whole way through. It's obnoxious, but such is youth's way, alas. So bug off, media consumers. I'm a hip young counter-culture Vassar righteous vegan organic hemp-sexxing junior revolutionary and I don't shave my legs.

I love Vassar, though. And I do take the afore-described stereotypical hippie Vassarite seriously.
CJDC

The Ultimate Vassar Celeb

OMG so you TOTES wanna see more about celebs?!

Well, I won't post a picture, cuz that's shady, but I WILL rave about Luis. You know who I'm talking about, the man who don't need no stinkin last name. he's so fabulous!! Like the other day I smiled at him and he winked at me and we were at the gym and he was dewy and glowing with the sweet flower nectar that flows out of his pores (Luis does not sweat. Luis is not like the rest of us)and he was still stylish and glorious and I was like OMG NO WAYYYY!! The way he struts in all his sassy splendor...ah...I once heard a story about him at the Retreat;he ran into Cappy and Cappy was like, "It's such a cloudy day why dost thou wear sunglasses, young buck?", to which Luis the Great replied, " the sun never sets on a badass, Ms. Hill".

OHHH SNAP
I'd marry him. I'm not homophobic.
Ah man, I feel like a creepster. But I won't edit this. For you, the reader. It put a smile on my face.

CJDC

TREACHERY!

Noyes Circle is a circle of death. The weather has made it treacherous. It was bad enough when it snowed, but when it started to rain, I thought "a thousand plagues upon you, you...weather". And also, screw that Vassar Virus going around. Dammit. I was going to go to Matt's Bar Mitzvah and holla at some challah, boi. But I was stricken sort of ill. Is it dying out yet? I thought it was, but then a new wave came.

Let's get it on. Also, what's up with the new mousse desserts at ACDC? Hot. kind of. But I'm impressed by their efforts.
We're all sensitive people.

CJDC

Pasty Man

Chek it.

I don't really have anything uber exciting to say, so I'll say this: Um, so, Tuesday night at the Up-Cizzle I rode an elevator next to Pasty and met him formally. He's cool. and pasty.

Hopefully, the other Noyesian will say something earth-shattering.
CoffeeJazzDarkChocolate

Deliciously Offbeat

This penname stands for
All that's sexy in the world.
Rich, hot, exciting.

CoffeeJazzDarkChocolate
Noyes