The Little Existentialist Post That Could...(?)

I'm back! I know, I know... I didn't post anything last week... but I hope that the other RayRay correspondent's amazing post, as well as my comments on other posts kinda made up for it.

This little phenomenon I call midterms week is ever so amusing: everybody acts strange, the goth style takes over (dark circles under the eyes) and chocolate and coffee are required for survival. Ahhh....college. But now...onto the important stuff...

Some time ago I read a comment by one of our readers saying that it would be interesting for us to write about the negative aspects of our experience here at Vassar... Controversy? Of course I'll jump right in! So here we go.

First of all let me state that I do believe that Vassar is the right place for me to be in. I am more than sure that I made the right choice. That, however, does not mean that I'm a 100% satisfied with how things are going. Personally, I need more. I still feel kinda lost somehow. Here's the deal: I know exactly what I want to do with my life (and I'm following that path) and I know the type of person I want to become. Also, I take Carpe Diem really seriously and try to make the most out of everything. Result so far? I'm not satisfied. Don't misinterpret me: I love the people I've met at Vassar and I know that I will meet more and more interesting human beings. But...I feel like I'm not fully myself, there are some aspects that are somehow dormant in me. Back home I felt completely in control. Even when there were conflicts or when I was confused, deep down everything felt right. I was fully the person I wanted to be with my friends. I experienced wonderful things with them and they taught me things I never would have imagined. Here, although I am very grateful for all I have lived, I feel like something is missing...what people keep telling me is that, believe it or not, I'm still adapting, and I think it's true... we never cease to adapt...specially at this age. I also think back and remember all the time it took me to reach that point with my friends back home...a whole lot. I think that if I feel the urge to do the things I'm "missing", I should just do them and be satisfied. MUCH easier said than done. I'm human...of course I'm afraid.

Still...something inside of me keeps telling me to hang in there. My hope is way too strong for my own good (LOL). Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed my little existentialist contribution this week.

Lots of love and chocolate,
Aletheia.