You know, after spending a week with my family in St. Martin / St. Maarten (yes, it has two names, since it is a joint province of France and the Netherlands), I noticed that I've been too pushy with my parents and especially with my little brother. I can't explain it, but I somehow manage to act riled up during breaks rather than take a break, and end up taking all of that tension out on my family. It's not that I physically hurt them; no, I could never bring myself to that. What I do, though, is make biting, cynical, and sometimes humiliating remarks. At the same time though, a part of me ends up feeling more relaxed after all, once I unload all of that onto the people closest to me; so it's not one of those cases where I act on my anger but it gets me nowhere (because it does).
I feel really bad now that I noticed, especially about what I've said to my brother. Just today, I hammered on and on, jamming my cynicism into the 8-year-old's mind, almost robbing him of his childhood wonder. And now I think about all the worry I've instilled in him. For example, we had quite a lengthy conversation about God and religious belief, and I kept plowing at his innocent inquiry with my atheism. It's a good thing we didn't start talking about Santa Claus because I would've demolished that myth for him for sure.
But I've resolved to calm down this week, to not be as assertive and just blatantly annoying. Ahh, I feel better already...
Crito
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2 comments:
Don't ever try to take away God, Santa, or any other thing that you don't believe in, from another human being, let alone your own brother.
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