3.18.2008

Confessions of an Almost-19-Year-Old

I made spaghetti the other day. The health-store kind, "Made with Jerusalem Artichoke Flour!", whatever that is, with lots of marinara sauce on top, the kind with the mushrooms in it. I ate it out of a mug because that's the only dish I had thought to bring with me to Noyes. It was a sunny day and in the kitchen it was very warm because none of the windows opened. I drank my food down with wine I had gotten in Spain, which I sipped right out of the bottle, because the only dish I had thought to bring with me into Noyes was at the moment full of artichoke flour spaghetti.

I love dorm life but I miss having a house. There is something about having to do the dishes, needing to buy the groceries and wipe off the counter-tops and vacuum the living-room floor that makes you feel like a full person, instead of just a limb living in room 362. It's like building a sand castle where the waves can't reach it. No matter what else is happening around you, you have walls, and a front door, and you can choose who you let inside.

The best days are those where you do something differently and it works. This whole life thing works best if you jump into the pool before you're quite ready, or if you change your mind twenty times before you make it up and then forget what you decided the first chance you get. Practicality belongs on somebody else's doorstep, like a puppy or a bouquet of roses or an illegitimate child. It's best to silence that voice of reason in your head or else it will ring all of a sudden like a cell phone in the middle of the movie and then everyone else in the theatre will turn and look at you while you wrestle with your purse in the darkness. Lately I can't go a day without doing something out of the ordinary. It's like I simply can't exist without creating something that might be completely stupid and useless: I don't care. I'm tired of being asked to do new things the old way. New things should be done the new way, otherwise they're just echoes of the emptiness someone else felt, and will never suffice to fill our own. Why do we try? Why do we listen when we should be singing?

I resolve to take back absolutely everything I said I was, so you won't know what to think of me, and that would be okay. I'm so bored. Let's do this over again.

...because all the cool kids were crazy anyhow.

Indiscriminately yours,
Radish

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're trying way too hard to make your life sound like a novel, and it's obvious.

Anonymous said...

perhaps radish is an aspiring writer and wants to try her hand at something other than the following:

"I ate spaghetti today. In a cup. So then I couldn't drink out of it."

you're complaining about novel-quality writing? wow.

Anonymous said...

notice how quickly i got all of the facts from that three sentence summary you wrote. there's no point in writing a novel on something that can be explained in a few words. and it's not that i don't want to read long essays like other people have commented on other posts, but if the material can be condensed into that small of a space, it should be. if the material written in three sentences ("I ate spaghetti today. In a cup. So then I couldn't drink out of it.") doesn't seem worthy of publishing, why on earth would the extended version be?

Anonymous said...

Well, alright. First off, 12:00, I'm not trying to make my life sound like a novel, because it isn't. I'm just writing what I know, like everyone else. If you don't like it, don't read it. No one is forcing you to, and especially no one is forcing you to put down negative comments. I'm sure you have better things to do with your time.

12:18 and 1:59, if you you have trouble with my writing, perhaps you should try your hand at it before you critique. It's much easier to find fault with something than to actually find the guts, and the time, and the dedication to do it. Or perhaps you might consider finishing reading the rest of the post before you comment, that might help. Or perhaps you don't want to, which is totally fine by me.

I am not an aspiring anything. I'm not TRYING to do anything, or to prove anything, or to force-feed you anything. This is just the way I write. I disagree that I can say all that in three sentences, because what I wanted to do was to capture a feeling, a moment, exactly, which is very difficult stuff. And you, after reading one paragraph, decided that it was dumb. Okay. I don't need to be posting here if you don't want me to, and I have plenty of much more reliable people to ask to critique my writing than a few folks who can't even capitalize their "i"s. I'm just tired of all you people who instead of appreciating how all the writers here take the time out of their day to write for you respond by bashing them over the head with hateful thoughts. You're pretty ridiculous, my friends. And if you don't stop, then I will.

~Radish

Anonymous said...

Perhaps radish likes writing and exploring her brain in interesting (dare I say, "novel"?) ways. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Anonymous said...

i think radish is beautiful. just sayin.

-Peabo

Anonymous said...

hey radish, sorry, i didn't mean to come off so aggressive earlier when i wrote at 12 and 1:59, although re-reading what i wrote earlier, there's almost no other way to read those posts. so, sorry about that, i didn't mean to cause a fight or anything and i definitely did not mean to make you feel bad about your writing; if you enjoy it, i commend you for doing something productive. not really sure what got into me, but i hope you accept my sincere apology. have a great rest of your break.

Anonymous said...

radish, i left the comment at 12:18...

reading it over it sounds hostile to you when in fact i was trying to defend you haha

i meant like radish is giving us embellishment of her life in order to entertain, because writing it like that (the way i summarized it in quotes) is just stupid.

so sorry if it sounded negative towards you

=P

Anonymous said...

wow. this is like the first time we've actually had people apologizing for what they've written.

thanks!

Anonymous said...

Yeah guys, thanks a lot! I didn't mean to be mean in return either (wow, classy word choice). It was just a little much coming back and finding 3 comments which sounded quite negative when I really hadn't posted anything controversial. I'll try and make my posts shorter in the future to avoid this. I know not everyone will like what I write, but that's just how it works, right? Thanks for reading anyways. Apology definitely accepted (12/1:59), and let's hope other peeps will follow your example.

~Radish

Anonymous said...

hey radish
i appreciate your well-thought-out posts and your descriptive writing style. I think part of what defines Blog9 is that it exhibits the different styles/perspectives/opinions of the various bloggers. The reader can get what he/she wishes out of the posts, and if need be, can pick and choose which bloggers to track for their entertainment. i see no need to criticize or stifle the bloggers individuality and creativity- come on Vassarites, I would hope that we can respect other peoples' opinions because our student body is known for it's tolerance and open-mindedness!!! :-)